Kai Matsumiya, Screening Jan 18.

It truly is like speaking to a distant self
If I were to study marxism and really question my realities, is it too late to shake them and fully indulge in change?

Responding to Unrest by Cyril Schäublin, it’s interesting to see different, actually purely defined roles of the people that populate this watchmaking town in Switzerland — such as the messenger, delivering news or statements from various political parties. these are special and curated roles. It’s interesting how these (straying) capitalist governments respect, but verbally and publicly disallow the burgeoning or anarchist groups, and opposing direction — in favor of cooperation rather than competition to define futurism and socialist/marxist leaning thought. It’s interesting to consider the idea of time being globalized for all people to follow, operate by, collaborate by, the idea of social darwinism.

9:45pm
In kai gallery 5th floor, one st. off canal st
How privileged, egotistical, and delirious these people seem to speak and interject with one another to share their minds. These people. unable to feel without analysis. How can you talk this much about a single idea , and how can everyone at the time to speak, needing to get their mind out? Must they suffer if they are not able to present their ego to this group of dance and facade? The basis of relation I distanced myself from.

I feel it. The clarity, potentially pinhole, of understanding sobriety and true sobriety as i knew it before Jan 1st. What it means to be staying true, regulating happiness, anger, sadness. Since Jan 1, where i stepped out to starr playground, and hit my head hard on the concrete. i have felt an impossible missing piece in my head, the piece giving me the ability to regulate, manage surroundings, pattern recognition, feel anything seductive, exude anything, feel honest and confidently. Is clarity inherently a selfish and narcissistic quality? For me clarity is being able to tune out environment and people to hone in my thoughts and ideas. Have felt so lost and only able to speak upon what is missing, not feeeeling that is is missing, which is a huge difference.

Bitterness about feeling stupid. Bitterness about my back posture and incongruity, uncomfortably viewing. Bitterness about not being stoic. Bitterness about not selecting intellect and clarity. But how can you expect consistency or clarity or basis of understanding without routine or hard-earned clairvoyance. Thank you kai for exposing and isolating my feelings and allowing myself to regain consciousness of those opinions I held.

A Single forgetting, derails a purposeful night.

(For LS)
The work we show must reflect a reserved but group/general understanding of the state of the world and care for emerging ideas different from the rhythms and cadence of it. Genome and sound