react blind in a box vacuum

My heart is sunk and my face swollen. Eyes are open but I don’t see what I’m looking at. Can’t even react to people coming to me. Where do I go from here? What can I do to put my fingers into the cave? Why is my mind but nothing and not a place of rhythm and rest?

At shore line, at jumping height. Childlike blood coursing in my arms in my face I just react blind in a box vacuum.